Sunday, April 12, 2009


Writing a Court Report for work. I'm not getting paid overtime for it, but it's something that needs to be done. I hope it doesn't become a habit.

Last week was the toughest of all. Friday on the way to work, I thought about turning the car back around and just driving somewhere far, far away. I don't mean to be a queen, but I'd never felt that way about work before.

Well, I got through the day and by 6:00pm, I was home again. Like every other day, my nightmare ended and I was on my own time again. There are still people who work a whole lot more for a whole lot less.

Tomorrow morning it's back to the same thing. Five days of doing really difficult work, and then two days off. I guess I just have to take it day by day, just like people who are in recovery.

I'm glad I went to church for Resurrection Sunday. I woke up late and even thought about not going, but then I remembered that the second service was moved from 10:15 to 11:00, so I didn't have any excuse. It was a cool experience. This morning they had a brass quintet.

So what the heck is the resurrection about anyway? Sometimes it just seems like crazy superstition. And it's certainly not something I'm thinking about when 3 of my 24 kids have some kind of crisis that needs to be dealt with right away. Or when a parent criticizes the work I'm doing.

I have no answer for this. It's not going to turn into one of those uplifting blog posts where I conclude that there's really no problem with anything. I wish that I could, but this burden has been weighing on my soul and it won't go away.

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