I'm getting beat down by work. There's some stuff that I'm just not good at--and those are the things that they're asking me to pay more attention to. And while it's good to improve, there isn't a lot of time to work on improving stuff. I guess that's what a government job does to a guy.

We've been in the news a lot lately. I can see both sides; in the situations where a kid died, we didn't have the necessary information to make the best decisions. But though that may be true, it doesn't excuse the fact that we're supposed to protect kids and one died. I do understand that when we're under intense public scrutiny, we have to cover ourselves and take care of our own. But on a personal level, I know that nobody feels okay with what happened.

I've closed a few cases in my year here--none have gotten to the adoption stage yet (I inherited some cases that were in the process, and they finalized while I had them). But a couple of them are heading in that direction. I waffle between feeling a little angry that these people couldn't get over their own stuff for the sake of their kids; and feeling very sorry for them. I don't want to turn into one of those jaded people who doesn't give a crap and just fills a seat and collects a paycheck, but...well, it turns out that not becoming that is a lot harder than I thought it'd be.

There's this awesome lobster/crab place a block away from my house. I kinda want to be dating someone so that I can take her there.

I'm going to sign up for a SCUBA class. Might as well add another pricey hobby to my life.

Metaphors

My Internet at home got cut off. So I'm here at work, on duty, waiting around to cover for people who are out in the field or whatever. I took care of some of my own work in the morning so now I'm taking a break. I can't leave the office though so I'm also looking out for someone to cover while I get lunch quick.

Work is a pretty good metaphor for life. It's not even a metaphor, in a way, because you're at work at least eight hours a day. So it IS your life. But I mean it in the sense that at least half of work is extraneous bullshit that you have to do just because that's what a job is. Yeah I guess most of life is exactly like that. Probably because of human depravity or something.

I'm going to try and be better with money, so that I won't need as much of it and can maybe enjoy my post-job life someday.